Chapter 4: She Will Be Loved [Confrontation]

“Stop!” yelled the guy in the middle front yelled. He went forward and when the other two followed him, he gestured for them to leave. They just nodded and went outside again. He, then, strutted towards us but stopped halfway, in the middle of the aisle.

I was already fuming angry at that moment. I absolutely couldn’t believe this! Everyone had their eyes on the large, muscular, dark-skinned boy. Why do these things keep happening to me?

“Jacob!” I yelled, my voice obviously filled with rage. I started towards him, stomping in my high-heeled shoes on the way. My pace started getting faster as my rage started to build up inside me. Miraculously, I didn’t trip.

Halfway to Jacob, a cold hand grabbed my wrist. Without looking back, I said, “Edward! Let go of me! Let me give him a piece of my mind!” But he didn’t let go. Instead, he tightened his grip around my wrist and tugged on me lightly so I would face him.

“Bella,” he started, tense. He looked straight into my eyes and I met his worried gaze. “Don’t worry, Edward.” I told him as I pulled my hand free from his strong grip. “I’ll handle this. It won’t take long.” Then he finally let go of my hand.

I turned back to face Jacob and glared at him for quite some time. There was so much tension in the air and everything and everyone was silent. I felt all eyes on us. We stayed like that for awhile.

It suddenly surprised me that Jacob held out his hand to me. I glared at him, then his hand, for some time. Looking at his face again, his eyes were warm, looking straight at me. His voice finally broke the silence as he said, “Should we take this outside?” Still glaring, I crossed my arms impatiently on my chest. He placed his hand back to his side as he turned about face and started outside. I hesitantly followed him, dragging my dress behind me.

I slowly walked down the steps outside the church only to find Jacob’s back facing me. What the hell does he want that can’t wait until after the wedding? He didn’t speak and that annoyed me so I started, “Jacob, why are you here and what do you want?” I tried to control any sudden splurge of unwanted emotions that I would regret later on.

He didn’t turn to face me as he spoke, “You know why and what.” his voice hard, angry. I clenched my fists and took a step towards him. “Jacob,” I said, my voice low. Still, he didn’t face me. I repeated myself, “Jacob...” He repeated himself, too. “You know exactly why and what.” I kept silent.

Then he turned to face me, finally. But I kind of wished he didn’t. He looked at me with dark, emotionless eyes that almost seemed soulless. That scared me a bit but I tried to continue another step forward. He didn’t move; he just stared at me. I stared back at him.

Suddenly, his eyes turned soft again. He chuckled as he approached me. “Sorry, Bella.” he said, with warm eyes. He stopped half way and sighed. “You know, I know I can be much better than that bl— Edward. For one, I’m human.” Then he paused for awhile, and then he said, “Well, a lot more human than him, anyway.”

Yeah right. “Listen, Jake,” Hurting him was something I didn’t want to do, but as he—and everyone—can see, I am about to get married here. So that settles the case and I continued, “I’m sorry that I didn’t love you enough to choose you. Just face it. I love Edward too much and I couldn’t possibly think of living without him.”

I could tell Jake was trying to remain calm. He took another step forward; this time farther toward me. He smiled but his fists were clenched on his sides. I managed to back away as far as I could manage on my high heels and long, heavy flowing gown.

I wanted to run. I was in facing an angry and persistent werewolf.  I wanted to run to Edward, the vampire love of my life, waiting inside the church. ‘Vampire’ and ‘church’ didn’t really go well together, did they? I live in a strange world that only I knew about.

He started again; but this time, his voice was hard and firm as he said, “Look, Bella, you will grow to love me even more than that bloodsucking leech. I know. I’m not trying to force you to choose but I’m just saying—” That’s when I had enough.

I cut him off immediately after his words. I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t control the level of my voice. I think I was already yelling. “Not forcing!?” I began. “Not forcing, Jake!? ‘Not forcing’ my foot!”

He looked at me anxiously. I scowled at him. There was a long moment of silence. I tried to even my breathing. I wasn’t done with him. “You keep coming to me, telling me you’re so much better than Edward. Edward didn’t force himself on me! I already grew to love you, Jake, I did! You have pushed your luck long enough. You have gone too far!”

He stared at me. I backed away some more. I thought I hit a wall, something hard and cold. But a wall is far from where I was standing. Without looking back I said, “Yes, Edward, what is it?” He didn’t answer.

I turned around to face him. He was scowling angrily at Jacob. I could hear growling coming from inside his chest. I held both Edward’s hand, hoping that would calm him down even for a little bit. He looked at me.

His eyes were expressionless as they met with mine. Edward was probably resisting he urge to attack Jacob right this second. I placed his hands near my lips. I tried to talk calmly. “Edward, don’t do anything rash. I told you, I’ll handle this.” I whispered.

I was about to turn back to Jacob when Edward held my shoulder and stared intently—deeper—into my eyes. He said, “Bella, he’s not going to give you up. I know. But if you want to with him, it’s your decision and I won’t hold you back. We can cancel the wedding and—”

I cut him off by putting a finger lightly on his lips and spoke, “You know I love you more than anything, Edward. I won’t change my mind about marrying you today. I wouldn’t change my mind ever, no matter what happens.” He was still—he didn’t move. I held one of his hands as I turned to face Jacob.

“Jake,” I started. “I know you will find someone better. Someone who’s better. Someone who’s really meant for you—made for you. I’m sure of it.” I paused. He just stared at me. I let go of Edward’s hand as I walked closer to Jacob.

“Jacob, I love Edward, and you know it. I felt…something different,” I grinned. “ever since I met him.” I held Jacob’s hand. “You do understand what I’m telling you, right, Jake? I mean, you’re my best friend and I love you, I really do. I have thought about everything you said. I did fall in love with you, a fact which you never let me forget. But it’s not enough for me to leave Edward; especially on the day of our wedding.”

He—still—was staring at me. We just stared at each other for a moment. Finally, Jacob said, “Fine, Bella. Marry the lee— Edward. But I want you to know,” he paused as he put my hand to his lips, “I’ll always be here for you. Always. Understand?”

I felt the tears sting my eyes. This crying part really annoys me. I feel bad for Jake, and I feel even worse knowing that I couldn’t live up to his expectations. “Jake,” I couldn’t find the right words. All that he had said now—all that he had said ever—all of it, I felt, were sincere. He does mean it.

Jacob held both of my hands and raised it near his lips. I could feel the warmth of his breath. He smiled down at me and said, “Bells, my door’s always open. Come anytime you want.” His smile was warm—friendly—like my Jacob. “In case you might want to seek refuge from the bloodsuckers.” he added jokingly.

My tears—I couldn’t control them anymore—flowed down my cheeks. Well, there goes my make-up and Alice’s hard work. I managed a light laugh. I feel like such an idiot. I held Jacob’s big hands tighter. The warmth of them—a bit relieving—passed through my gloves, making my palms a little moist. I didn’t really care.

“Do you think,” I began looking down the ground. I felt his anxious eyes on me. I looked back up to him and out eyes met. “Do you think we could still be friends when I’ve…” I trailed off. I think he got the idea. Changed. I continued only in my thoughts. I know the possibility is blurry and almost impossible. I knew there wasn’t much hope. Still, it was worth a shot.

There was a moment’s silence; then he spoke, “I’m not sure that’s going to be possible, Bella.” His voice was serious. More tears started running down my—probably mascara-stained—cheeks and dripping on the ground beneath us. “But…” he continued. “I supposed we could arrange something.”

I looked up at him with hopeful eyes as he gave me the warmest smile—the one I used to see, the one I missed. Once again, he looked like the Jacob I knew. “I just hope you won’t smell that bad.” he grimaced playfully as he placed a strand of loose hair back into place. I smiled at him.

He was my best friend. I wasn’t about to lose him. Not now. Not ever.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and cried in his chest. He wrapped his arms around me tight but enough for me to breathe.

“Promise?” I asked him as I looked up to see his face. He looked down at me, and then looked up at the sky. “We’ll see.” My heart sank a little. Jacob looked down at me again. “Okay. Promise.” We smiled back at each other.

As I pulled away from him, I said, “Sorry for crying on your shirt. I’m such an idiot.” He hugged me again and wiped the tears away gently with his thumb. He smiled and replied, “No, you’re not.”

When he backed away, he suddenly said, “I’ve got to go.” My heart sank even deeper. As he was going for the woods I called out, “Jacob!”

“Don’t worry, Bella.” he said as he turned his head to face me. “You’ll see me again.”

I was about to reach out to Jacob when a cold hand caught my shoulder. I stayed put and placed a hand on the one resting on my shoulder. “Swear?” I asked him.

“Seal it with a kiss?” he asked as he completely turned around to face me. I looked up to get Edward’s opinion. I knew he wasn’t going to be happy about this. He just nodded but his jaw was hard. I gave Edward a grateful smile and rushed towards Jacob.

“Should I kiss you in thy cheek?” I teased. He answered my question s he quickly brushed his lips against mine. That honestly surprised me. It was just a quick peck though.

I stared at him with wide eyes. He chuckled as he kissed my cheek; his lips were soft and warm. “Congratulations, Bells.” He smiled, but this time, it didn’t reach his eyes. I grimaced playfully and replied, “Thanks.”

“Well, I got to go. Quil and Embry are waiting for me at La Push with Sam.” he said before facing the forest again. “Goodbye, Bella.”

“This isn’t farewell or goodbye, but only adieu.”

He looked back at me, giving me his warm smile one more time, surely remembering this. “Right.” he replied. “See you soon, Bells.”

“See you soon, Jake.” I cried out just in time before he rushed quickly into the forest and probably exploding into a big ball of fur. The last words echoed in my head. I quietly repeated it to myself. “See you soon.”